Look at that. Even after I wake up in the morning, my hair looks like it could fight Wonderwoman and win. Okay, maybe not Wonderwoman. Maybe The Red Bee. REGARDLESS. My hair can defeat superheroes after I wake up. That is what is important here, and there is a reason I believe my hair could defeat a superhero.
Look at the left side of my head. The crescent shaped craziness that's going on. If I could figure out how to do that to my entire head, I would. Then, I would look like The villain from The Incredibles. And how many superheroes did he mutilate on his Island of Death? Several. Why? It's the hair. How? The Hair. And millions of dollars spent on machines that would rip your fucking intestines out.
Your fucking intestines out.
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